No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
