cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
