No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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