I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
