It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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