You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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