dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
