I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
