I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize