dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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