I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
