I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
