listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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