Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
