so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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