I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
