and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
