Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
