It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
