took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
