Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
