Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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