when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want to be your penis for a week.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
