so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
