2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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