and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
