they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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