UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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