I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
