I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
soo... how was my night?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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