so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
