did you get engaged???
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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