from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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