a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She bit a glass in half.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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