I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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