Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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