he wants to bone in the snuggie
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
