There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Do vagina's smell?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
