I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
