i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
