why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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