i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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