I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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