How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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