Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
