Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
