we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
