hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
