We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
