I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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