I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
