he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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