I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize