I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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