So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
