I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
