this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
