also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize