fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
