I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
