with your own penis?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You were trust falling into bushes
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
