I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize