apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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