Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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