U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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