You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
