They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
