Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
