dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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