SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
