are you still at the devil's house?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
